By Alex Mintz
How would I describe this? Let’s see. There was once a time that was filled with color. There was a plain that was endless with people of every age, nationality, sexuality, and personality. A place where memories were abundant as flowers that would bloom every year. However, like flowers, they can go unnoticed or they would wither into the depths of time. That was the case for me.
I looked at the computer that sat in front of me. It was on and revealed a class that was just beginning. My peer’s laughs echoed the speaker that sat next to the laptop. Everyone was enjoying every second of their lives spending time with each other. A feeling that seemed so distant from me. I listened to any conversations I could pick up. Anything. As long as there was something that could pique my interest. It was at this moment that I would take almost anything to distract me from what I could see.
I look up and see the glass above me. It was tinted in an aquamarine. This was not a house that you may have imagined to yourself. This was a gigantic hourglass where I sat. Inside the hourglass was my desk, my bed, bookshelves filled with books, a drawer, and two bed stands. This was all located on the bottom of the hourglass. The top of the hourglass had nothing. It only revealed the abyss and the bright blue that illuminated the glass. It was a reminder that I was trapped in this hourglass. Sometimes, I would climb up and just sit there watching the surroundings.
More glass bubbles were floating, unlike mine that was chained to the ground, with people inside. Most of these glass bubbles were a little foggy, but just enough to be able to see them. Some of these people were recognizable but others were strangers. I would attempt to wave, but there was a chance that there would be no response. It was understandable though. Not everyone can talk to others. They were living out their lives and I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.
Sometimes it gets lonely in this hourglass of mine. I would sit for hours upon days in front of my desk watching the screen. My mind would make me believe I was there. It was nice, don’t get me wrong. It was nice to see human faces and hear the familiar sounds of the classroom. These sounds welcomed me back in a way unlike any other.
What exactly would cause me to be lonely? It was just the goodbyes. It’s always the goodbyes, isn’t it? The fact of logging off and then remembering where you are. It is like VR, you get so invested with everything that you see. It looks so nice. It seems so safe and accepting. Then, it’s all over by the moment everything ends. I soon stare at the screen of the main menu of the Teams class. The serotonin I received is suddenly stolen from me. If I’m lucky, it remains with me for a moment. The serotonin is like butterflies. They could be scared away by the demon that is called my mind. The demon that may rule the endless void that I now sit in with the hourglass.
Class began and I turned off my camera. I listened to the class as I climbed up to the top of the hourglass. The teachers wouldn’t call on the continued distance learners. It could be way too difficult because of the wifi. I carefully climbed up before I managed to sit in the usual spot. The teacher’s voice became a little bit robotic, but it was not so bad. I turned and saw that the video was very pixelated. I looked away and my eyes laid upon what would be the place of where I wish to be. There was my school. It was in a class orb of itself. One quite larger than the hourglass. It was oval-shaped. I could imagine the various sounds you would hear from the classroom. From the laughter to the creaking of an old desk, it was all sounds that could cause nostalgia that was not so far behind in time. It was only the building and it floated in many areas. At one point I could see the school very close by, but at others it was never in sight.
I looked down. If only I could go back in time. If only I had spent more time with them in the past. If only I didn’t spend my time on the phone. If only. The dark thoughts began to reign in my head. It was a shadow whose claws wrapped around my forehead and looked down at me. Its eyes of red looked at me with what seemed to be a blank expression. That wouldn’t be the case knowing a demon. It would smirk and snicker in my ears.
If only I had more time to spend with them. I would spend every waking hour with them to create these tiny little memories that warm my heart. I would have spent more time and listened to their stories. I would have put my phone aside unless we played a game together. I would have given them hugs that would show how much they mean to me. All these things I could have done. I might have in the past, but then again it’s the past. These memories eventually fade with time. Not all rainbows can stay after a storm.
I got up to go back to my desk before I felt my face wet with tears. I didn’t realize that I had cried during that time. I sigh and just let the warm tears fall down my face. I climbed down to the bottom of my hourglass and sat at my desk. I had to turn on my camera. Class was almost over and I’m sure my friends would visit the camera. It was a nice little thing that they did in this specific class. It made me want to reach out and jump through the computer screen to them. I couldn’t.
I turn on my camera and spot my friends. I smiled weakly as I watched whatever antics they would do. It would be the most random thing that they would do. However, that’s friends for me. I wouldn’t change anything about them. They were the best people that I have ever met in my life and I hope they know that. I wipe my eyes. They wouldn’t see my tears, but they would know something is up if I didn’t speak a lot. I was an obvious person, but that’s okay. I would rather be honest with them than lie about everything. “I gotta go. Byeeeeeeee,” one of my friends said as the bell rang. They wave, or simply leave, and head back to their desks. I sigh as I watch everyone passing by the desk, saying goodbye to the teacher. They would smile and say goodbye to everyone.
My teacher looks over and smiles at the computer. They walk over and sit down at the desk. “How’s it going there?” “It’s um… it’s okay,” I say, meaning mostly my education rather than emotions. “That’s good.” We discussed some school stuff and tutoring. The usual stuff, but it was nice to talk to someone. Communication is hard whenever everyone is busy with their own thing. It was nice though because I grew closer to the teachers. “Alright. I shall see you on Tuesday. Bye-bye,” they said as they waved to the camera. “Bye,” I say with a smile, waving.
The video call ended and I was left with my reflection. I looked at myself and sigh. A single tear fell from my face. You don’t know what you have before it’s gone. I was told that multiple times and I never listened. It was pure ignorance because I took life for granted. Everyone probably did. They all watched the opportunities slip out of their grasp. However, one day I will go back to the place I long to be and be with the other people I wish to spend time with. As I quote from one of my friends, Moises Hurtado, “You can only see the stars because we are in a shadow.” He was right because little by little, I could eventually see the bright stars of every color getting closer as time went on. Only time will tell when the stars will blossom into new opportunities.
I looked at the computer that sat in front of me. It was on and revealed a class that was just beginning. My peer’s laughs echoed the speaker that sat next to the laptop. Everyone was enjoying every second of their lives spending time with each other. A feeling that seemed so distant from me. I listened to any conversations I could pick up. Anything. As long as there was something that could pique my interest. It was at this moment that I would take almost anything to distract me from what I could see.
I look up and see the glass above me. It was tinted in an aquamarine. This was not a house that you may have imagined to yourself. This was a gigantic hourglass where I sat. Inside the hourglass was my desk, my bed, bookshelves filled with books, a drawer, and two bed stands. This was all located on the bottom of the hourglass. The top of the hourglass had nothing. It only revealed the abyss and the bright blue that illuminated the glass. It was a reminder that I was trapped in this hourglass. Sometimes, I would climb up and just sit there watching the surroundings.
More glass bubbles were floating, unlike mine that was chained to the ground, with people inside. Most of these glass bubbles were a little foggy, but just enough to be able to see them. Some of these people were recognizable but others were strangers. I would attempt to wave, but there was a chance that there would be no response. It was understandable though. Not everyone can talk to others. They were living out their lives and I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.
Sometimes it gets lonely in this hourglass of mine. I would sit for hours upon days in front of my desk watching the screen. My mind would make me believe I was there. It was nice, don’t get me wrong. It was nice to see human faces and hear the familiar sounds of the classroom. These sounds welcomed me back in a way unlike any other.
What exactly would cause me to be lonely? It was just the goodbyes. It’s always the goodbyes, isn’t it? The fact of logging off and then remembering where you are. It is like VR, you get so invested with everything that you see. It looks so nice. It seems so safe and accepting. Then, it’s all over by the moment everything ends. I soon stare at the screen of the main menu of the Teams class. The serotonin I received is suddenly stolen from me. If I’m lucky, it remains with me for a moment. The serotonin is like butterflies. They could be scared away by the demon that is called my mind. The demon that may rule the endless void that I now sit in with the hourglass.
Class began and I turned off my camera. I listened to the class as I climbed up to the top of the hourglass. The teachers wouldn’t call on the continued distance learners. It could be way too difficult because of the wifi. I carefully climbed up before I managed to sit in the usual spot. The teacher’s voice became a little bit robotic, but it was not so bad. I turned and saw that the video was very pixelated. I looked away and my eyes laid upon what would be the place of where I wish to be. There was my school. It was in a class orb of itself. One quite larger than the hourglass. It was oval-shaped. I could imagine the various sounds you would hear from the classroom. From the laughter to the creaking of an old desk, it was all sounds that could cause nostalgia that was not so far behind in time. It was only the building and it floated in many areas. At one point I could see the school very close by, but at others it was never in sight.
I looked down. If only I could go back in time. If only I had spent more time with them in the past. If only I didn’t spend my time on the phone. If only. The dark thoughts began to reign in my head. It was a shadow whose claws wrapped around my forehead and looked down at me. Its eyes of red looked at me with what seemed to be a blank expression. That wouldn’t be the case knowing a demon. It would smirk and snicker in my ears.
If only I had more time to spend with them. I would spend every waking hour with them to create these tiny little memories that warm my heart. I would have spent more time and listened to their stories. I would have put my phone aside unless we played a game together. I would have given them hugs that would show how much they mean to me. All these things I could have done. I might have in the past, but then again it’s the past. These memories eventually fade with time. Not all rainbows can stay after a storm.
I got up to go back to my desk before I felt my face wet with tears. I didn’t realize that I had cried during that time. I sigh and just let the warm tears fall down my face. I climbed down to the bottom of my hourglass and sat at my desk. I had to turn on my camera. Class was almost over and I’m sure my friends would visit the camera. It was a nice little thing that they did in this specific class. It made me want to reach out and jump through the computer screen to them. I couldn’t.
I turn on my camera and spot my friends. I smiled weakly as I watched whatever antics they would do. It would be the most random thing that they would do. However, that’s friends for me. I wouldn’t change anything about them. They were the best people that I have ever met in my life and I hope they know that. I wipe my eyes. They wouldn’t see my tears, but they would know something is up if I didn’t speak a lot. I was an obvious person, but that’s okay. I would rather be honest with them than lie about everything. “I gotta go. Byeeeeeeee,” one of my friends said as the bell rang. They wave, or simply leave, and head back to their desks. I sigh as I watch everyone passing by the desk, saying goodbye to the teacher. They would smile and say goodbye to everyone.
My teacher looks over and smiles at the computer. They walk over and sit down at the desk. “How’s it going there?” “It’s um… it’s okay,” I say, meaning mostly my education rather than emotions. “That’s good.” We discussed some school stuff and tutoring. The usual stuff, but it was nice to talk to someone. Communication is hard whenever everyone is busy with their own thing. It was nice though because I grew closer to the teachers. “Alright. I shall see you on Tuesday. Bye-bye,” they said as they waved to the camera. “Bye,” I say with a smile, waving.
The video call ended and I was left with my reflection. I looked at myself and sigh. A single tear fell from my face. You don’t know what you have before it’s gone. I was told that multiple times and I never listened. It was pure ignorance because I took life for granted. Everyone probably did. They all watched the opportunities slip out of their grasp. However, one day I will go back to the place I long to be and be with the other people I wish to spend time with. As I quote from one of my friends, Moises Hurtado, “You can only see the stars because we are in a shadow.” He was right because little by little, I could eventually see the bright stars of every color getting closer as time went on. Only time will tell when the stars will blossom into new opportunities.